How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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