do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
MIDGETS
????
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
