From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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