what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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