Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
