I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize