I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
