Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Randomize
