spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
