I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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