He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
