oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
