Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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