Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
