so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
