So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just cropdusted the office
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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