its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
