i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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