First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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