I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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