New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
