we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
