My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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