I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
