he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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