Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have tasted many bathrooms
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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