So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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