Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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