I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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