I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
