i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
