I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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