This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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