please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you had me at cake vodka
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
