I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
