so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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