There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
