Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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