Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
