i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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