Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
