i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
