i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
