Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
