Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
