Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Congratulations! We have a period
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
