She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
