I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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