when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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