I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
