so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
