So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
