so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
