Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
