It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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