Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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