I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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