she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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