new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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