Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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