That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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