Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize