dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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