Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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