oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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