it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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