Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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