Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
